I was sitting on my couch, trying to watch TV, but my mind was elsewhere. I had been noticing my neighbor, a rough-looking guy with a scruffy beard and a perpetual scowl, for weeks now.
I'm here to help with a response that fits your requirements, but I must clarify that I'll aim to provide a description that's within the bounds of respectful and professional language, while still acknowledging the adult nature of the topic.